Hi all, welcome to another chat 'On The Couch'! It's Nellie here, with Wanda and Maya! We’re delighted to be the brand ambassadors for Flat Out Footwear and share with you our musings on life, the universe and shoes of course! Each week one of us will style an outfit with a pair of shoes from the Flat Out Footwear range. So much fun!
Thanks Nel - it's Wanda here and it's lovely to be back - I always look forward to our chats 'On The Couch'.
Me too - hey everyone, this is Maya and as always - it's great to be here :) I've been looking forward to telling you about a funny memory that came back to me, after seeing one of my exes pop up on Facebook's 'people you may know'.
Oh good ol' Facebook - it's not always on point with its recommendations is it?
Definitely not! Well this particular person did not take our breakup too well and wanted to get back together, but I had moved on with someone else - perhaps a little too soon - but that's another story. Anyway, strange things started to happen and I was sure it was my ex sending me coded messages that were pretty simple to decipher.
Oh do tell - I'm intrigued!
I don't know how to tell this story in a nice way, but basically my new partner came home to find an unflushed turd in the toilet which seemed a bit odd, but ok possibly someone forgot to flush. My mum discovered the same thing one day soon after, when she got home from work and there was an unflushed turd in her toilet.
Um I hate to say it Maya but so far you're the common denominator lol!
That's true, but there were signs that someone had climbed in through mum's loungeroom window.
Sounds like a stalker to me.
Yes well, it had started to weird me out. I was having counselling at the time, and the counsellor had previously provided my ex and I with couples counselling, and this is where it really got weird. When I told my counsellor about the turd discoveries her face drained of color, she went silent and just stared at me.
Oh no - what was wrong?
The first words out of her mouth were "I'm sorry!" then she proceeded to tell me that she had hired my ex to do a maintenance job at her daughter's house, and they happened to hit it off and went on a date. But her daughter decided not to take things further and when she got home from work the next day she found an unflushed turd in her toilet.
Oh my god - a serial pooper!
That's quite alarming. What did your counsellor say next?
Well Wanda - you're spot on - she confirmed that it was obviously my ex, and it was stalking behaviour which is not only creepy but potentially dangerous if it escalates. She also admitted to crossing a line herself in hiring my ex to do a job for her.
Absolutely. What happened next?
Well actually my counsellor ended up dealing with my ex directly because she felt personally involved and a person of authority who my ex might listen to and respect. It seemed to work because I didn't hear from them again and we've come home to clean toilets ever since :) What about you ladies, any interesting stories about your exes?
Oh for sure! I had an on-off thing that went on for years with a guy from my hometown. I'm not sure I could even call them an ex because we never got to the point of formally being together. I was head over heels for him, and in hindsight, I think he took advantage of that when it suited him, but I couldn't see it at the time. I thought he must be attracted to me because he kept coming back for more, and we always seemed to have fun and get along well together. He came down from Sydney to Melbourne for a visit and we hooked up again, only this time he agreed we should give things a proper go, and I couldn't believe it. We arranged to meetup in our old hometown for the Australia Day weekend which was just a few weeks away, and announce our new status to our friends and family (the days before Facebook lol). I told my sister I would be coming back home for a visit, and shared my exciting news with her. She'd been by my side through this whole journey and was delighted for me.
I hate to ask - but was he for real?
Given the topic, obviously things didn't work out hey Nel?
He was full of shit basically. Not literally in our toilets like your ex Maya, but he rocked up to our hometown as planned, only problem was he got there the weekend before with guess who? His new girlfriend from Sydney! My sister called me and filled me in - he didn't have the decency to tell me himself.
Oh man that sucks.
I'm so sorry Nel - that's awful. He told you what you wanted to hear, to get what he wanted - and as you've since worked out he took advantage of you because you were always there when it suited him. If he'd truly been into you he wouldn't have been coming and going - he would have stayed!
Yes Wan - I know. I don't know how I didn't see it at the time. It seems so obvious now.
They say love is blind!
I was really angry at the time, and I sent him a message letting him know how I felt and didn't get a response. I continued to feel angry for a long time, but eventually I realised I'd dodged a bullet. On a happier note, he married her and they have a family. I ended up meeting my amazing partner and we've made a beautiful family too, so it was all obviously meant to be!
Indeed you have Nel - and you've found self-love too.
What about you Wanda - any ex skeletons in your closet?
I do indeed Maya - don't we all? I had a relatively short-term relationship with someone I'd known a long time. We were both single at the same time, after coming out of other relationships and we drowned our sorrows with each other over lots of fine wine, food and music and relived our youth for a little while. Cliche, but one thing led to another and we hooked up, even though I always knew it was not going to work - but I ignored my intuition to my peril, and let my feelings develop, and convinced myself things were going well. Then suddenly he more or less disappeared. He went away for a long weekend with his children, and I felt completely comfortable with that. But he made no contact with me while he was away, didn't let me know when he'd returned, and ignored my calls and text messages. I started to wonder if he was lying dead in a ditch somewhere! After almost a week he finally responded and said he'd been too busy to call me, because we needed to talk and he knew it would be a lengthy conversation and he had been too busy to fit it in. Long story short he told me he wasn't ready to move into a new relationship so soon after coming out of a marriage, and needed some time alone. He'd realised while he was away that he has some issues he needs to sort out before he is ready for a new relationship. On face value that's fair enough - but he shouldn't have left me hanging for so long. I would have thought the longevity of our friendship alone would warranted a little more communication and respect. But the real sting in the tail came when just a few weeks later I discovered he had a new 'partner' and things were serious. I now suspect the weekend away with his children was actually a weekend away with her!
What a douche on so many levels :(
Unbelievable. He's not unlike my guy - such a coward. What is with it with these men? Why are they too scared to be honest.
It was disappointing, but intuitively I knew he was a player. It taught me a valuable lesson and now I call out things as soon as I feel something is not quite right. I'm assertive to the point of scaring people off - but the worthwhile ones stick around.
We all dodged bullets ha ha! Ok time to lighten things up a bit now, and see what Maya has for us.
Ok, well I've been invited to a friends wedding, so with that in mind I've chosen to wear a pair of Patent Oxford Brogues in blue. I've borrowed from the boys a wonderful black tuxedo jacket with a crisp white shirt underneath that has amazing cuffs which will be on full display because I will pull up the jacket sleeves. I'm wearing black jeans that have a sheen coating which blends nicely with the shine of the tuxedo jacket. To add some feminine touches I'm wearing big pearl stud earrings, crimson lipstick and carrying a cute retro silver mesh clutch. I've added a scarf for any outdoorsy moments - because it's been so cold lately. I'm really excited because I think it looks great, and I will be very comfortable. The other great thing about this outfit is works with any color or style of oxfords.
Very dapper Maya - I love it, and I'd happily wear it.
I agree - great styling Maya - you will look amazing. Have fun at the wedding. I'm off to a wedding soon too - and will talk more about that next week. Until then, take care everyone and be kind to one another.
(Author’s note: the characters of Nellie, Wanda and Maya portrayed in this blog are fictitious - and have been created for the purpose of providing entertainment, and Flat Out Footwear product related information).Joanna Nix